At just 22 years old, Rach Idowu found herself struggling with forgotten birthdays, missed meetings, and credit card debt that felt unmanageable. Convinced that early-onset dementia was the cause, she turned to the internet for answers. Although her doctor quickly dismissed that possibility, it would take another four years, alongside consultations with two psychiatrists, before she finally received a diagnosis that made everything click: ADHD.
For Idowu, this realization brought clarity to years of unexplained behavior. The constant fidgeting as a child, sleepless nights fueled by caffeine to complete school projects, and the tendency to delay responding to friends’ messages suddenly made sense. As she puts it, it was a profound moment of understanding.
Idowu’s story is far from unique. Millions of women are receiving ADHD diagnoses later in life. Though the trend has been on the rise for years, the period between 2020 and 2022 witnessed a remarkable surge. In fact, diagnoses among women aged 23 to 49 nearly doubled. Some have questioned whether this rapid growth is simply a passing trend fueled by the pandemic, increased telehealth access, and ADHD awareness on social media. But rather than being overdiagnosed, it seems that women are finally being recognized and understood.
ADHD manifests in three primary forms: hyperactive, inattentive, and combined. The inattentive type, common among girls and women, often involves forgetfulness, disorganization, and difficulties in starting or sticking to tasks. These traits can easily be mistaken for absentmindedness or even laziness. Julia Schechter, co-director of Duke University’s Center for Women and Girls with ADHD, explains that such girls are often labeled as dreamers, seemingly lost in thought.
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Even in cases where girls show hyperactivity or combined symptoms, their behaviors tend to differ from those of boys. Instead of disruptive antics, they might engage in constant chatter, hair twirling, or restless leg movements, coupled with heightened emotional responses. Yet these symptoms, while disruptive to the individuals experiencing them, often remain unnoticed by others.
For decades, ADHD was widely regarded as a condition affecting boys. Clinical psychologist Kathleen Nadeau, who co-authored Understanding Girls with ADHD in 1999, faced skepticism from the research community when she suggested otherwise. Back then, hyperactive boys disrupting classrooms were the stereotypical faces of ADHD. Quiet girls making the honor roll didn’t fit that image. But times have changed, and with them, perceptions are slowly shifting.
Unfortunately, the majority of ADHD research has focused on boys and men, reinforcing stereotypes. This lack of understanding has led many girls with ADHD to develop coping mechanisms. They excel academically but only by exerting tremendous effort, often at the cost of their mental health. Nadeau describes this as masking — an attempt to conceal struggles in order to meet societal expectations. The fear of disappointing teachers or parents drives these girls to work twice as hard as their peers.
Janna Moen, a postdoctoral research scientist at Yale’s Center for Infection and Immunity, knows this all too well. Diagnosed with ADHD in her late twenties, she had spent her school years earning high grades and building a successful career. However, years of masking her symptoms resulted in mental health challenges and difficulties in personal relationships. Like many women, her symptoms were misunderstood or overlooked until adulthood.
It’s not uncommon for girls and women to have their ADHD symptoms mistaken for emotional or learning issues. Gender bias plays a role, too. In studies where teacher perceptions were tested by altering children’s names and pronouns, boys were more likely to be referred for ADHD treatment and support. These misconceptions contribute to countless women remaining undiagnosed well into adulthood.
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David Goodman, director of the Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Center of Maryland, highlights a telling statistic: in childhood, the ratio of boys to girls diagnosed with ADHD is roughly three to one. In adults, however, that ratio evens out to nearly one to one. This suggests that women are not less prone to ADHD, but simply diagnosed much later in life. Goodman observes that children with ADHD are often identified because they disrupt others, whereas adults seek diagnoses when their struggles become a burden to themselves.
At its core, ADHD is a disorder of executive functioning — the mental processes that help with planning, memory, and emotional regulation. As women transition into adulthood, the demands on these functions increase. Symptoms may morph in subtle ways. Hyperactivity might become a sense of inner restlessness. Inattention could look like procrastination or missed deadlines. Impulsiveness may reveal itself in poor financial decisions. Despite appearing outwardly successful, many women battle internal chaos daily.
The impact of undiagnosed or misdiagnosed ADHD is significant. Women with ADHD face higher risks of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders compared to neurotypical women. The stakes are high in other areas, too. Studies indicate they are five times more likely to experience intimate partner violence and seven times more likely to attempt suicide. Unplanned pregnancies and early parenthood are also more common. A Danish study found that women with ADHD face a mortality risk more than twice that of men with the condition, possibly due to fewer diagnoses and less access to treatment.
The pressures on women with ADHD extend beyond mental health. They grapple with financial instability, strained relationships, and workplace challenges. Forgetting deadlines or struggling with organization can result in lost job opportunities or strained professional relationships. At home, the weight of household responsibilities can feel overwhelming.
Social expectations further complicate matters. Women are often expected to manage both professional and domestic duties with ease. When ADHD hinders their ability to do so, guilt and shame can set in. Instead of seeking help, many continue masking their struggles, leading to burnout.
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Raising awareness and improving research are crucial steps toward changing this narrative. Mental health professionals are beginning to recognize the unique ways ADHD presents in women. However, much more needs to be done. Schools, workplaces, and healthcare providers must adapt to better support women navigating ADHD.
For those newly diagnosed, the journey can be both liberating and daunting. Understanding the root cause of their struggles brings relief, but adjusting to treatment and new coping strategies requires time and patience. Medication, therapy, and support groups can help, but the stigma surrounding ADHD remains a barrier for many.
As more stories like Idowu’s come to light, the hope is that misconceptions will continue to fade. Women with ADHD are not anomalies; they are simply part of a group whose experiences have long been ignored or misunderstood. Their struggles are real, but so are their strengths. With the right support, they can thrive.
The increasing number of diagnoses suggests society is finally beginning to see beyond outdated stereotypes. ADHD is not a disorder reserved for hyperactive boys disrupting classrooms. It affects individuals of all genders, often in nuanced ways. A greater understanding of these differences will lead to better outcomes for everyone.
In the end, what women with ADHD need most is recognition and empathy. Their challenges are not signs of weakness or failure but manifestations of a neurological condition that has been hidden for too long. As awareness grows, so does the opportunity to build a world where no one feels the need to mask who they are just to fit in.
